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Thursday, 5 May 2016
Anticipation
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I remember telling my husband several years ago that I had a feeling...a feeling that something big was going to happen.   There were times when it felt like a dreaded anticipation, but the dread would fade into excitement.   The anticipation would go away only to return some months later with the same dread-excited cycle.

With each cycle came an understanding that whatever was to come was going to big, life-changing and really, my "arrival" so-to-say into my life's purpose.  Lack of patience prompted me periodically to try to figure out what this big adventure was going to be...would it be work?  Seeing a dream unfold into reality?  A relocation offering new opportunities?   I really had no clue - which did not always bode well for my lack of patience.   But I continued on with my daily life.

A couple of months after my cancer diagnosis, I was in the middle of my quiet time when it struck me that the deep lingering anticipation had shifted.  It wasn't really there anymore in the sense that had become familiar.  Instead, there was a deep knowing that the "arrival" had finally arrived.  No longer was it anticipation, it was just excitement.  No longer was there dread, for the worst of this adventure was over.   It was clear, my path had been laid, my purpose revealed.  The anticipation for the unknown had evolved into the anticipation of opportunity with a direction being opened before me. 

It was time...my time to be used...GOD's time to use me.

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Posted on 05/05/2016 5:04 AM by Paula Swift
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Living from Cancer
Nashville, TN